My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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