I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
