So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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