i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
