She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize