I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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