saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
