Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
