He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
