this beer tastes like vomit already
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
