You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My pussy is not your playground.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i out mim tonsoeep
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