My hand turned me down
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
