Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
