yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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