I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
