So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
