"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Farmville is her only friend.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize