Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
how drunk are you?
Several
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
