I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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