The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
