In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
