Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
