I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
