....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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