Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
