can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
