i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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