at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
