she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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