I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
