Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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