You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
