she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just threw up on my dentist
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
