i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
