I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Acid is not a monday night drug
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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