I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
