careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
