O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
