They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
