Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
