Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
These tits shall not be calmed
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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