Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
