party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize