Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
