im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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