Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
