im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
