Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize