so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
