I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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