just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
