I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
