Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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