I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
