I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
