mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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