Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
