I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
