are you still at the devil's house?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize