he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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