There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
