So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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