She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
