I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize